Addendums: Thoughts I've had, but that are not part of the story of the trip

When I wrote the majority of the ish that is being published in this blog, I was on the plane from Florida to California. As I wrote the day to day details of what happens in life, as often happens, does my mind want to add in other details as well. These are details that are just in my mind. Read them if you wish, but they tell nothing about the daily happenings of my trip.

Addendum I

Hue has been integral in pushing and developing the idea of thankfulness and affirmation. In the mornings, as often as I can, I will wake up and affirm how great it is to be alive. I give thanks for the chance to be on this trip, for the health to be able to make it, for the beauty of my soul and of my body and of my ability to keep changing it to what I want. I send out love to the cosmos in order to keep love coming back to me. I used to dismiss this sort of talk as hippie bullshit or new-age-feel-goodedness. However, I have also come to find in almost every aspect of my life that one must change and see things differently. But in terms of my soul, I think I never really focused on developing it. 

Who ever actively sits and spends time developing inside? I have never been able to quiet my mind. I used to fill empty and silent periods between friends with idle chatter and bullshit conversation about almost nothing. I never thought I could sit with another person and not have to talk. And feel comfortable not having to talk. More and more, I don't feel this pressing desire to fill the silent spaces of my life. Instead I search for those silent spaces. I love it when I can clear my mind, even if I can only do it for 10 seconds or so before a song comes into my head and ruins it or I think about work or money or the stuff that distracts us from taking that time to invest in soul work.

When I was 18, Kate Harton and I tried to do yoga back when we had Breakfast Club. B.Fast Club only consisted of me, Kelly, Kate, and Dustin. Sometimes Dank came to be a good sport, but it was mad early. Kate, Kelly, and I all had an 8am class at the time. Not Dustin though. This was the time in his life where he followed Kelly everywhere for everything. Techincally, he wasn't invited to B.Fast club, but he came anyways as that was what happened at the time. 

My 8am class was Grammar for English Teachers. It was twice a week, and it was only offered at that time period. It was a Pass/Fail course, but you had to Pass with a 90. Anything below and you failed. Also, if you took a certain test too many times, you also failed. It was intense. As Josers, he'll tell yah. Anyways, at like 7am, there was a yoga class on campus that Kate and attempted to go to. We went once, I think, doubtful that it was twice, and it was so fucking hard. Anyways, so I sucked at yoga, and ever since that time, I had been saying that I needed to get into it. And I said that and I said that and I said that until I was 25. 

Then, in the summer, I met a dude on Grindr who was a bike-fag, and we chatted and it just so happened he was going to bike to Coney Island for Fireworks! Fireworks! Fireworks! He invited me along and I said sure. We met up in Billyburg. I was kind of 5^th wheel because he had his friend with him, Alison, and the other boy who came with us, Domenick, had his friend there, but I forget her name. I could care less being 5^th wheel. Years ago, when I was more insecure with myself, I would not have been able to do this. I would have been nervous and left because I was uncomfortable with myself. But we biked down and it was a blast. The dude I met on Grindr was cool, his name is Daniel, and Domenick facebook friended me. Time goes by, and the summer ends,.

THEN, months later, I see that Domenick posts something about a Donation-Only Beginner's yoga class. He's the instructor. Now Domenick I would describe as cub-like, meaning he is gay with body hair, but he is not huge and fat like a bear. He has such a pretty voice, the cutest face, and an amazing amazing smile. I was nervous, but I messaged him and told him of my anxieties, and I went and did it. As yoga goes, it is a serious faux pas to be late for class. Of course, being from Delaware and my mother's son, I cannot be places on time. So I was like 15mins late which is taduk bagus (No bueno in Indoesian). 

The first time I went, there were only 3 other people in the class besides me. I got a lot of attention from him that first night. Then I went the next week too, and I've continued to do it. One of the best parts about yoga is that I have discovered parts of my body that I didn't know I had. Moving and twisting makes you feel muscles you rarely ever use. And I like that feeling. I think that modern times have limited physical movements, so there needs to be something to supplement that. The gym is one thing, but the gym is so controlled and is more focused on one specific group of muscle. Yoga works out the whole body. And it also helped me to learnt\ to relax my mind. 

Now, I am def not saying that I'm good at that. I relish in delight when I have nothing in mind mind but nothing. Yoga has been great, and I suggest that everyone try it. I've been keeping up on it even on my trip. I've got P90X yoga on my computer and it is a motherfucker, but I'm glad I have it. And even the guy who instructs it says that the stuff he is able to do at 45 isn't from lifting weights or putting time in at the gym, it's from yoga.

Side Point: The tangent about yoga and spiritual development feeds into another tangent. I relied on technology before trying to get to the care center where my uncle was. I used my grandmother's GPS. But, what I forget is that technology is made by humans which means it's flawed in some way. Thus, you can never rely on only one method, there must be multiple options that can be relied upon in the same way. I use this same idea when it comes to healthcare or religion or anything like that. You can't just believe medical science, just like you can't just believe the chiropractor, just like you can't rely on psychology, just like you can't rely on alternative medicine. These things, when used together, create a better whole because all the flaws that humans inevitably input into these sciences will hopefully cancel each other out or one picks up the slack where another leaves off. I can't work on my physical self if I never take the time to develop my spiritual self. Yoga is one method. Next, I need to get into mediation and then discover pathways from there.

More addendums to come!!!