Woke up on Tuesday morning a little later than I expected. No bother, it's all gravy. I called my Aunt to see how my Uncle was doing, but she didn't answer. I left a message stating that I'd love to come even if it was to just lend my support. I had laundry to do, and I was looking at facebook and hanging with my grandmother when all of a sudden my cousin Dennis (Jr. my sick Uncle's son) calls and says that if I really want to come that I should but that they are not in happy times right now.
I was fine with this. I gathered my things and borrowed the car got some flowers and drove out. My grandmother gave me some killer directions to the highway that had few lights and few stops and less traffic. GPS was used when I got to the highway to guide me the way there.
I gave thanks again on this ride because the ride was gorgeous. The highway went right along the coast, right against the water and it was ever so pretty. And the bridge I had to take looked like that one in Delaware that leads to the beaches, but obvi way prettier with the surroundings. The drive was OK, but I got lost a bunch as I had been the entire time I drove in Florida. Also, in Bradenton, the people run on island time. Everyone moves slowly. Lines at cash registers move slowly. No one seems to rush. Except for on the highway. These people drive like maniacs. I'm driving like 70-80mph, and these people are FLYING past me. And weaving out of traffic going over a giant bridge. It's insane.
Anways, the GPS sent me to the wrong place, but luckily iPhone was there and found what it was. Now, when I first arrived, I was in denial because it said Hospice. I know what Hospice is all about, but neither Carol nor Dennis told me that he was in Hospice cause Hospice means the end of the line for most people. So I actually drove down the road in the opposite direction because iPhone said it was down there, but when I got to the location, it was like a little planned community. I called my cousin, and yeah, it was the Hospice place.
I get inside after fumbling with all my things, and just start crying. My uncle is in the bed entirely passed out and barely able to breath. I hug my cousin Jamie (the mother of my goddaughter) and my Aunt Carol (wife of the dying man, and mother of Jamie, and grandmother of my goddaughter). The godmother of my goddaughter, Tina, the sister of the dying man, was there as well. We all sat and chatted and cried and chatted and cried.
Earlier I had said that he lost half his foot. But, as it turns out, he actually lost his left leg from the knee down. I saw the stump and everything because the surgery had been only a few weeks ago and the stitches were still all there. Apparently, the stress of the rehab, of having to learn how to live without a leg, exhausted my uncle to a point where his body finally gave out. I had planned to stay only a few hours, but a torrential rain storm was going on outside, and I was not planning on driving back in that. I was nervous enough in a new area with an unfamiliar car.
My Uncle Jack came over with another cousin who had become friendly with my Uncle. Then, I was supposed to follow him back to his house, but as I followed, it was dark and raining, and I was emotionally disquiet, and I totally lost him. And of course I didn't have his cell phone number or anything of that sort, so I called my aunt and told her I was just going to head back to Bradenton. It was 6.30pm at this point, and I had a 2 hour drive ahead of me.
PLUS, I was leaving at 7am the next day, which meant I needed to be up at 5am, and I needed to repack my whole bag. And yes, my bag has really fucked me over because I am at full capacity. I packed way too much stuff for my trip. I knew I was leaving for 5 weeks, so I prepared for every contingency. Yet, as I sit and type this in Santa Barbara, I bought a new jacket and shirt that was on sale. I couldn't help it! The jacket was hot and was originally $100, and it was marked down to $30 and the shirt was $10, and I made it into a vest. Thus, I will be sending some stuff home.
On the way home, I had awful Tacobell cause I was starving and there was nothing around, and I needed to get something in my stomach. I also treated myself to a 6-pack of Red Stripe that I got from Winn Dixie. Drank after I got home. Not on the drive. As I packed, my grandmother and I watched Obama and the State of the Union which was what it was. Poor Obama. Those evil pundits are such fucking morons. Not getting into it though. She went to bed, my cousin came home, and we hung out and chilled for a few hours before I finally went to bed.
I got up early, and my grandmother and I hit it for the airport. We made it with plenty of time, and the trip was fantastic. We gave each other hugs and I was on my way to Santa Barbara.
Looking back, I am fortunate I got to say goodbye to my uncle. I can't come home from my vacation for the funeral. He passed away at 1.27am on January 27th. He was an amazing guy. I haven't come out to a lot of my family, but I came out to him, and he was amazing about it When I told him, he was like 'So what?!' and I said that I just wanted him to know. And he said it made no difference to him and that what matters is me and nothing else. He was happy I told him, but he loved me the same. Such a wonderful feeling.
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